The prospect of looking after an old dad or mum in their dotage in need of full time care because of dementia, Parkinson’s disease, arthritis, heart disease or a general lack of mobility, is not one which most of their children are willing to countenance.
A report, by care home provider, 'Care UK' based on a sample of 2,000 people in Britain, whose parents are older than 60 and an investigation of their willingness to have them, if needed, live with them revealed that, if they needed full-time care :
* just less than a third (28%) would be happy for them to come and live with them.
* a third (32%) said they ‘would not let their parents move in’.
* just over a third (36%) admitted they ‘would have to seriously think about it’.
Of those who said they wouldn’t let their parents move in :
* half said it was because their home was 'too small'.
* Four in ten said they ‘would not be able to cope’.
* one in five said they lack the ‘necessary skills to look after their parents’.
Ros Altmann, a former Director General of Saga and independent expert on 'later life issues' said she was ‘astonished’ that such a small proportion of children are prepared to have their elderly parents living with them and ‘family help should surely be give and take – not just one way. Of course it is possible they feel their homes are not big enough to house their parents. There is so much loneliness among older people in this country and part of it seems to stem from more families living further apart. In other countries, there does seem to be a greater degree of concern for older family members.’
When asked : 'how they would feel if their parents went into a care home ?', responses included :
‘sad, guilty, concerned or emotional’.
However, Maizie Mears-Owen, from 'Care UK', said: ‘The thought of moving parents into a care home can come with great concern. Often the decision is made at crisis point when parents need a level of care which families may not be able to provide.’
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